Parenting/Leadership Toolkit … since 2003

28 June 2015


Dear parents, parents-2-b, moms, dads, caregivers, social workers, support group leaders, grandparents & educators [in short Proud2Believers]

A very good friend of mine shared a great saying this week and I just absolutely loved it, so I decided to build this implementable toolkit around what she said: 


Good friends around your family and home are the glue of life. When all else fails or seems hopeless, good friends are always there for you. Friends are the people you want to be with, play with, cry with, and grow with.

I do find in my travels around the world that it is a global phenomenon that people tend to pull back into their own little cave. We know in many cases the reason is the woundedness and vulnerability that have not been dealt with. But the reality is that children see, children do. If change needs be, it starts with me. If I do not want my children to cave-up but I want them to be able to attract like-minded happy souls as their own friends, I am going to, as caregiver, need to set the example to change old patterns to new patterns. Change is never easy but reality is…it starts with ME.

I invite you to share this toolkit with your family and community members. An informed and positive me = an informed and positive home = and informed and positive community = an informed and positive Nation.

Also have a quick look at this video message from my heart

Below are some hands-on tips for primary and secondary caregivers to help you to set the positive vibe to attract the positive tribe. 

——————————Setting the positive vibe to attract the positive tribe 

Change is in my hands, but thinking about it is not going to make anything happen. At PROUD2ME® we share our ethos of ‘I can’t just think it, I need to ink it, share it so that I can action it’. We encourage our proud2believers to make this part of your positive lifestyle.

 So here is my handful of tips for June 2015:

  1. Own the following: A positive vibe, it starts with ME. And guess what, it is never too late. I need to recognise and identify what I do in my behaviour that makes me happy & positive and therefor circles out to those around me to make them feel happy and positive when with me. As a parent I cannot expect my children to surround themselves with friends that are positive if I am not doing so myself. Children see, children do. Want your children to surround themselves with positive friends? Make sure you are setting the
  2. As caregiving-team we need to share the vibe. Happy caregivers = happy children. The primary caregivers at home, whether it is mom and dad, mom and gran, dad and dad, aunt and uncle etc., needs to work as a team. It creates great confusion for children if the caregiving team does not work together and it also creates a great opportunity for the children to negatively manipulate situations at home. As caregiving team in my home we need to be on the same vibe.
  3. Think positive. A negative mind will never give a positive vibe. It’s not only what we do that attracts positive friends, it’s how we think. If we change how we think about others, we can become a magnet for the right friends. It’s very easy to focus on the faults of others. That’s because we often put other people down in the hope of elevating ourselves. But when we focus on what is lovely about others, something magical happens: We begin to feel different about them, and they in turn respond to us in a new, positive way.
  4. Let go of grudges and focus on the good in people. Holding on to those negative thoughts about people and family members becomes a ‘resentment centre’ in your body. I always say that resentment is the killer of relationships. Teach yourself the habit of moving on and letting go.  Focus on the now and on what you are teaching your children through your behaviour. None of us is perfect. We all have traits that make us difficult to live with. It’s easy to focus on what is difficult. Instead, look for what is good and strong. If you do catch yourself focusing on negative aspects, remind yourself that you too have faults.

  5. Smile. No matter how you connect with others, remember to smile. Whether you’re connecting face-to-face, or via Twitter, email, chat, Skype, or phone, the person you are connecting with will feel your inner and outer smile. I am sharing with you a beautiful advert, which will put a smile in your heart and hopefully make you share the warmness. Click here 
————————————————————————–Have your say

“Hi Adéle. I am a medical doctor with no children of my own yet but I love your toolkits and use them in my practice all the time. thank you.” – Dr L, Gauteng, South Africa

“Wow Adéle, I love the work that Proud2b ME does and I have a folder on my desk with all your toolkits in as I print it out when I receive it. I share it with so many colleagues, friends and family. It is wonderful work, really.”  – Ms Musa Ngcobo-Mbere, Chief Director ECD, National Department of Social Development South Africa

I would love your feedback. Share your input and ideas on this toolkit by clicking here,